


Your Guardian Angel

by sterekandstonyanddestiel3ohmy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, F/M, Guardian Angels, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kid Fic, M/M, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-09 08:59:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10408572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sterekandstonyanddestiel3ohmy/pseuds/sterekandstonyanddestiel3ohmy
Summary: Dean Winchester has always been told that angels are watching over him. An angel was, in fact, watching over him. His name was Castiel. He wore a dirty trench coat on top of his suit and his blue tie was worn backwards. This is not what his mother meant when she said that.Everyone has a guardian angel. Not everyone can see them. Dean Winchester is one of the lucky few who has been able to see his guardian angel from day one. As Castiel watches over Dean, they both grow more and more fond of each other.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first posted Supernatural story! 
> 
> This chapter is the longest one in the story. The story is almost completely written. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Please note that this story does run up to season 12, episode 14.

For as long as Dean Winchester can remember, he’d been able to see him. 

“Angels are watching over you, Dean,” his mother would say as she’d lay him down to sleep in his crib. Dean would stare at some invisible thing over her shoulder, and would often coo, giggle, or reach out towards it. Mary would turn to look, and she’d frown when there was nothing there. She’d often sit in his nursery until he fell asleep, terrified that something would happen to him. 

The day he took his first steps, he pulled himself up using the edge of the couch and had turned around with a wide grin. His hands reached out in front of his body and he stepped towards an invisible destination. Mary walked into the room, having just gotten off the phone, and saw this. “Dean!” she’d shouted in surprise. The baby’s head turned at the loud sound and he fell to the floor, crying as he went down. “Oh, baby,” she said softly, going to pick him up. He held his hands up in the direction he’d been walking, and Mary paused in confusion before worriedly picking him up. “I’m sorry Mama was so loud, baby boy,” she coos as she bounces him on her hip. “I’ve got you now, Dean, don’t cry.” His arms still reached behind her, fists opening and closing as he sobbed. 

When Dean reached the age that babies say their first word, his parents were both right up in his face, cheering for him to say, “Mom” or, “Dad”. When he said his first word, he was sitting alone on the floor with his toys. Mary was sitting on the couch, folding some clothes, and John was reading the newspaper in the kitchen. Dean had looked up, giggled, and said, “Cas.” Mary had looked up and her eyes grew wide at the very distinct first word. “John!” she’d called. She heard her husband jump up from the table. Dean turns and looks at her, a tiny frown planting itself on his slightly chubby face. “What, what is it, Mary?” John asked. “He just said his first word.” Mary said as she picked Dean up. “What? What did he say?” John asks with a large smile. “He said “Cas”.” John frowned, “Where’d he hear that?” Mary shrugs, “I figured you said it to him.” John frowns, “Well, I didn’t.” 

Most people do not know what causes babies to take steps when everyone’s backs were turned, or where they learned a word that they had never spoken to their baby. A very lucky few did. Dean would be one of them. When Mary said that angels were watching him, she wasn’t very far off. 

You see, every person is assigned a guardian angel at birth. An angel can only have one human to be guardian angel to at a time. A human can only have one guardian angel at a time. Most people never see their guardian angels, though they follow them through all of life’s biggest moments. A few lucky souls are destined to be able to see their guardian angel, to live life with them actually in it. Of course, angels appear to a person the way the person thinks they’d appear. Some take the form of someone they’d know in the future, and some even take on the form of a vessel the angel has taken or will take. 

Dean grew up seeing a man with wild, dark hair. His eyes were as blue as the ocean. He wore a dirty trench coat on top of a suit and blue tie that was worn backwards. His voice was deeper than any man’s should be and his hands were very gentle as they guided Dean through life. 

When Dean was two and a half, he ran the halls of his home and spread his arms wide, huge smile on his face. “I’m flying Cas, come fly with me!” Mary smiled and shook her head as she watched her son “fly” through the kitchen. Lately, little Dean had been talking more and more to his imaginary friend. Mary was a little concerned because he seemed to have very specific things that this “Cas” said or did. But every chance Mary could take when Dean said his friend was around, she’d check for EMF. There were never any traces of it, so Mary just assumed that he was a very creative little boy. 

On his third birthday, Dean was told the truth. It’s one of the first concrete memories that would stick with him forever. Dean’s mom woke him up and he went down and ate breakfast with his parents. They gave him a new train for his set and his dad left for work with promises to be back in time for his party. Dean’s mom told him to go upstairs and play while she got ready for the morning. That’s what he was doing when his best friend Cas arrived. “Happy birthday, Dean,” a deep voice said from behind him. A smile broke across his face and he stood up and rushed over to Cas, who easily caught the boy in his arms. He hugged him tight and asked, “Is that a new train?” 

Dean beamed, “It is! Mommy and Daddy got it for me.” Dean released him from the hug and tugged on his hand. “Come play with me.” The pair sat and played for a while, and Dean told Cas about his birthday party that was happening in the late afternoon. 

Mary came to the door in the middle of Dean’s explanation about the clown that was coming. “Hey, baby. Are you talking to yourself?”

Dean frowned, “No, Mommy. Cas is here, don’t you see him?” 

“No, baby, I can’t see your little friend.” 

“He’s big.” 

“What?” 

“Cas. He’s big,” Dean explained, stretching his arm up above him as far as he could. 

Mary frowned, “Like, a grown up?”

“Duh,” Dean said with an eye roll. Mary looked worried but told him to come down when Cas was gone. “Mommy’s crazy.” 

“Dean, do you know why only you can see me?” Cas asked, and Dean turned to look at him.

“No….”

“It’s because you are very special, Dean. I’m your guardian angel.”

“Angel?”

“Yes, I’m an angel.” 

“Mommy says angels are watching over me,” Dean says innocently. Cas smiles softly. 

“She’s right, Dean. I’ll always be here for you. Dean, only a few very special people get to meet their guardian angel. This is going to have to be our secret, okay?”

“‘Kay,” Dean says with a small smile. 

“Okay.” Cas replies with a bigger smile. 

Dean finds out right before his fourth birthday that he’s going to have a baby brother. Dean cannot wait to tell Cas. And, when Cas gets there, he rambles on about all the things his parents told him about being a big brother, and Cas smiles the whole time. Sam Winchester is born on May 2nd 1983. Cas sits in the backseat of the Impala while Dean’s dad drives them to meet Sam for the first time. He walks into the hospital room and practically throws himself onto the bed, beside his mother. John leaves the room behind Dean’s back, and returns with the baby. “You ready to meet your baby brother, Dean?” John asks. Dean and Cas both turn to look at him, and Cas frowns as a grin lights up Dean’s face. “Come sit in the chair, you can hold him.” Dean does as he’s told and his dad helps him correctly hold his new brother. Dean decided that Sam was tiny, but perfect. Cas, however could only frown at the new baby. Dean wanted to ask why, but knew he couldn’t with his parents in the room. By the time they were alone, he’d forgotten all about it.

Halloween was Dean’s favorite day, he’d decided. Sammy got to go with him, though he couldn’t eat any candy yet, since he was still a baby. But this meant that Dean got all of his candy, so he was happy. He was on cloud nine for the next two days. He’d snuck a piece of chocolate from his bag before brushing his teeth for bed. His mom helped him get his pajamas on and she picked him up and carried him into the nursery. “Say goodnight to Sam, Dean.”

Dean stands on the crib bars to lean down and kiss his brother, “Goodnight, Sam.” 

His dad comes in and they talk before he goes to put Dean to bed. “Goodnight, Dean,” his dad says.

“Goodnight, Dad.”

“Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite,” his dad says and turns off the light and leaves the door open a crack. 

Dean drifts off to sleep. He wakes up to the sound of his dad yelling his mom’s name. He freezes in his bed. “Dean?” Cas asks. “You need to get up, Dean.” Dean turns to look at him and is about to speak when he hears his dad scream. He jumps out of his bed and down the hall to Sam’s room, where his father is standing near the door. His dad all but shoves Sam into his arms and tells him to get him outside. He freezes until Cas shouts, “Run, Dean!” He runs down the stairs and Cas is right in front of him, leading him out of the burning building. They get outside and he stands in front of his house, staring up at the fire. His dad reaches out and grabs them suddenly. 

As they sit on the hood of the Impala, Dean berries himself between his dad and Cas. His dad stares at what’s left of their house as Cas whispers into his ear. “It’s okay Dean, your’e going to be okay. I’ll always be here, Dean.” 

Dean doesn’t talk again for six months. 

When he finally does talk, it’s to Cas, who has been there for him the whole time. “I miss my mom,” Dean says one day, tears welling in his eyes and lips trembling as he tries to hold back his sobs. 

Cas sits next to him on the motel bed and pulls him close, “I know, Dean. I am so sorry that she is gone.” 

“Why didn’t her angel save her?” Dean asks and Cas sighs, resting his cheek atop Dean’s head. 

“Even guardian angels cannot trump fate.” 

“What does that mean?” Dean sniffles, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“It means that her angel couldn’t help her. It was always going to happen.” Cas looks down at his charge. “We angels have rules, times when we cannot help those we protect, even though we want to. We have to follow those rules, or we may be forced to leave the ones we protect. To be without a guardian angel is a fate worse than death.” 

Dean frowns, thinking. “That’s stupid,” he decides. 

By the time Dean is six and Sam is two, Dean knows how to do much more than a child his age should know how to do. He knows how to properly pick out fruit and vegetables at the store. He knows how to properly wash and cut those fruits and vegetables. He knows how to change a dirty diaper and he knows how to buckle Sam into his car seat. He knows how to lock the doors and he knows how to shoot a gun, though he never has _had_ to do it yet. The innocence that once resided within his eyes has been clouded over, and now he is a protector. 

Their dad had never left the boys alone for more than a few hours at a time, but this time was different. They were nowhere near any of their dad’s friends. So their dad had told Dean to lock the doors and not expect him back for a few days. It had already been a few days, and Dean was getting worried. It didn’t help that he hadn’t seen Cas since before his dad left.

“Dee, hungry,” Sam whines, pulling on his older brother’s shirt. 

Dean sighs, “Okay, Sammy. Let me see what we have.” He goes to the motel’s small dresser and looks through the food on top of it. He grabs a box of Cheerios and grabs a paper bowl off of the dresser. Sam is standing where he left him, next to the couch. “Here you go, sit.” The toddler follows the orders and sits down on the couch. Dean hands the empty bowl to his brother and pours some dry cereal into it. “I’ll get juice.” He grabs the pre-made sippy cup of apple juice out of the mini fridge and brings it to his brother. 

There’s a knock at the door, and Dean freezes. Sam looks up at him with confused eyes. Even the two-year-old knows that no one should be knocking at their door. The do-not-disturb was firmly in place, as it usually was. Dean slowly gets up, and walks over to the place where he kept his gun, grabbing it silently. The knocking continued and Dean set the gun by the door, where he could grab it if he had to. He looks at Sam and points to the bedroom, and the toddler gets up and goes to hide. Dean jumps so he can try to see out of the peep hole. He has to do it several times before he can actually see out of it and when he does, he sees Bobby Singer. Dean pulled open the door and threw himself at Bobby, arms wrapping around his legs. At this point, Dean hardly knew Bobby Singer. They’d only met once before, but his father trusted him, so so did Dean. 

“Where’s your daddy, boy?” Bobby asks, hand coming down to rest on his back. 

“He’s on a hunt,” Dean says, leaning back and looking up at the old hunter. 

“And Pastor Jim?” Bobby asks as Dean goes to retrieve Sam. The boy settles his brother back on the couch with his cereal.

“I dunno. At home?” 

“There’s nobody here with ya boys?” 

“We’re fine, Mr. Singer,” Dean says as he hands Sam his sippy cup. 

Bobby shakes his head, “Let’s go get some real food for your bellies.” Dean smiles slightly, grabbing the cereal again from his brother, who pouts. Dean lifts him up and Sam settles his head on his shoulder. “Let’s go,” he says, grabbing a bag and stuffing some diapers and wipes and other stuff they may need. 

“Do you have a car seat?” Dean asks as they step out of the motel. 

“No, Dean, I don’t you’ll just have to hold him on your lap and I’ll buckle you in together.” 

“That’s not really safe,” Dean said with a frown. 

“Well, that’s the best I can do today. I got a call from your daddy this morning and he just gave me the motel’s information and I got on the road. I didn’t know what I was coming for.”

“Fine,” Dean agrees and gets into the truck, pulling Sammy onto his lap. Bobby sighs at the stubborn boy but buckles him in none the less. 

“Always like his daddy.” 

Bobby brings them to dinner and then decides to stay with them until John gets back. Dean falls asleep on the couch, Bobby and Sam in the bedroom with Bobby on the bed and Sam in the crib. Dean hears from Cas in the morning. “I’m sorry, Dean. There were important things to deal with in heaven.” Dean nods and stares at the ground. Bobby’s in the shower and Sam is watching cartoons. “I didn’t know John left you alone. I would never have left if I knew that.” 

“It’s okay, Cas. I understand,” Dean says with a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. And even Castiel knows he doesn’t mean it. 

A few years later, Dean almost lets a monster kill his brother. He didn’t do it on purpose of course. He loves his brother so much, shouldn’t his dad understand that? Shouldn’t he understand that he hadn’t meant for Sammy to almost get hurt? It didn’t matter to John what Dean’s intentions were. All John Winchester cared about was that Dean had disobeyed his direct orders, all he cared about was that Dean had endangered Sam. He didn’t care that Dean rushed out of the motel after that. 

Dean couldn’t see through his blinding tears. His stomach rolled at the mere thought of hurting Sam. He retched onto the sidewalk and didn’t even react when a hand found its way to his back, rubbing in gentle circles. Dean sighed. “Cas, I don’t wanna talk right now.” 

“Then don’t talk,” Cas says.

Dean turned his head to glare at the angel, before he stood up straight, “Tell me a story, then.” 

Cas smiles at the ten-year-old and sits on the curb, and Dean follows. “There’s a boy in this world, right now. One day, he will save the entire world. I don’t know how and I don’t know when; but I do know that he’s a very special person, even now. He’s going to mean a lot to this world, though he probably won’t be recognized for his work. He has a big heart, and a pure soul. He’s going to go through a lot of hardship, and it’s not going to be fair. But I’ve been told he’ll get what he wants, get what he _needs_ , in the end.” He looks at the boy before him, “It’s going to be a hard life, Dean. And your dad? He’s just one battle. Let’s concur it,” he holds his hand out for Dean, who stares at it for a minute before taking it and standing up. With Cas’s hand in his, he walks back into the motel room. 

Dean’s thirteen the first time he reads _Romeo and Juliet._ He’s been asked to read it for school, and he doesn’t think he’s going to read it at all. He isn’t going to be there long enough for the class to finish it anyways, so he thinks he should just not bother with it at all. He brings it back to the motel and throws it on his bed. Sam frowns at it and picks it up, looking at the cover. “Romeo and Juliet, huh?” he asks. “You know, I’ve heard it’s a really good play-”

“Then why don’t you read it, bitch?” Dean jokes, reaching out and messing up Sam’s hair. 

Sam rolls his eyes, “Maybe I will, jerk.” 

“He’s right, you know?” Cas asks from behind them, “I’ve heard only wonderful things about William Shakespeare.” 

Dean rolls his eyes, “They both end up dead. They were only thirteen, they couldn’t actually love each other.” 

“You’re thirteen and you still make doe eyes whenever you talk about that one friend of yours,” Sam points out. 

Dean’s head whips towards him as he frowns, “What are you talking about, kid?”

“You know, that friend you always talk about. You always say things like, “Well _my friend_ would say that Romeo is a star-crossed lover,” or, “Well, _my friend_ is perfection carved by the hands of God himself.”” 

“Are we sure you’re nine?” Dean asks with a raised eyebrow and pink cheeks. 

Their dad walks in at that moment. “What are you boys talking about?”

“Dean has to read Romeo and Juliet for school,” Sam supplies. 

“They’re really make you kids read that sissy shit?” John asks, and Sam and Dean exchange a glance. “You’re not really gonna read that shit, are ya, Dean?” 

Dean swallows hard and notices that Cas is still in the room, glaring at John. “No sir.”

“Good.” 

Dean reads it to spite his father. Or to make Cas proud. He isn’t sure which is the reason, but he does it just the same. He doesn’t read to follow along with his class. In fact, he starts two days after his class starts and he ends a week before the class is set to finish the book. He finds himself reading the book as he sits on a seat outside the motel one evening. Sam is doing his homework inside, at the small table their room has, and Dean decided he’d rather sit outside anyways. 

He doesn’t hear when he shows up, he’s so into the book. His heart freezes in his chest when he hears his name fall from those familiar lips, and it begins to hammer once he’s looked up at the familiar face. Castiel smiles at him now, and Dean tries to smile back, but it’s like everything has changed, shifted within him. The angel leans into his space and Dean’s heart leaps into his throat. But the angel simply looks at the book and says, “”For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”” Cas leans back and looks at him with a newfound concern, as Dean’s face begins to break pout in a sweat. “Are you alright, Dean?” he asks, and Dean jumps up from his seat and rushes into the motel room, book abandoned on the ground. “Dean?” he hears Cas call after him, through the rushing of his blood in his ears.

He hears Sam call after him too, as he rushes into the bathroom and locks the door. He throws the shower on and jumps under the chilly spray, clothes and all. He braces his hands on the wall and stares down at his soaking clothes. He slowly and carefully pulls his shirt over his head and shucks his jeans and boxers off. He stares down at himself and feels a jolt of fear rise in his chest as he looks at his now painfully throbbing dick. He hadn’t ever felt like this before. He’d never felt an erection like this before. Sure, he’d had them. Most boys have them throughout their whole life. But this was different. He’d never had a rush of emotion, of _desire_ , paired with an erection before. What did he even want?

When he finally came out of the shower, towel wrapped tight around his waist and sopping clothes tucked under his arm, Sam stares at him. Cas is nowhere in sight, thank God, but he doesn’t understand the feeling of disappointment at that, that comes and goes as quick as he can blink. Dean quickly changes into some new boxers and a new t-shirt before settling himself down in bed and trying to sleep. Sam drops his book next to him on the bed, and Dean stares at it, accusation in his eyes, before finally falling asleep. 

They never talk about it. Sam has no idea what is happening. But Dean has a sinking feeling that Cas knows what happened that night. John returns the next morning and packs them up, heading towards another hunt, and Dean never returns the book. 

Dean sits on the hood of the Impala, staring out in front of himself. They didn’t have the energy to drive all the way to the nearest motel, so they stopped off on a field, Sam and John both asleep in the car. Dean couldn’t sleep though. He’d been thinking lately, ever since his fourteenth birthday almost two weeks ago, about Cas. He’d met plenty of people in his life, but none had ever made him feel this way before, the way he felt about Cas. Cas, who had just appeared next to him on top of the car. Dean’s heart jumped in his chest. These days, it seemed like Cas always pulled a reaction from Dean. Every time he appeared when Dean wasn’t expecting it, every time he touched him, every time he spoke intimately with him. Dean felt like his skin was on fire with Cas around. Of course, he wouldn’t tell him this. So how was Cas to know? It was a well known angel rule that no guardian angel may read the mind of his charge. Cas stuck to that, thank you very much. 

But Dean didn’t know what to do with these newfound feelings. He didn’t know what they meant, or if they were even okay feelings to have. He just knew that, when he read Romeo and Juliet, he thought of Cas and himself. Whenever he pulled out the copy he still carried around with him, he pictured himself and Cas. He heard Cas’s voice as he read the story, over and over again. 

“Dean,” Cas greets. 

“Cas. Isn’t it beautiful?” Dean asks, staring out at the sunrise. The bright yellow sun just peaking out from behind the thick winter clouds, causing the sky to take on different blue and orange hues. 

Dean doesn’t notice Castiel staring at him. He doesn’t see his lips twitch up at the corners into a small, fond smile as he looks at his awe-struck charge. “Yes. Beautiful indeed.” Dean doesn’t know that for every conflicting feeling Dean has, Castiel has one of his own. He doesn’t know that the angel shows up at times like this, just to see the boy. He doesn’t know that Castiel doesn’t know any more than him about the feelings they both share. How could he know? 

Dean’s sixteen when he and his dad and brother are sitting in a diner and another teenage boy flirts with him. The boy was a waiter, and his parents obviously own the small business. He’s got dark hair and bright blue eyes that hide behind thick-rimmed glasses. He smiles at Dean as soon as he gets to the table, and sweetly offers up the specials of the day, and his own opinion on what’s good. “Y’all aren’t from around here, are ya?” the boy asks with a slight southern drawl, and Dean smiles in response and shakes his head.

“Nah, we’re from North Dakota,” Dean lies smoothly. 

“You stayin’ long?” he asks, eyes locked with Dean’s. 

“No,” John suddenly interrupts. “We’re not staying long.” Dean turns to look at his father, who he only now notices has been getting angry as he stared at his son and the boy. Dean frowns. “In fact, I think we’re going to leave as soon as we’re done here.” He pauses, “Now, I think we’re all ready to order, now.” 

“Oh,” the boy says quietly. He takes their orders and stares at his pad as he takes down all of the orders, “I’ll get your orders in and your drinks right out.” 

John is furious all throughout their meal, and Dean can’t understand why. Sam keeps shifting nervously and John taps his fingers on top of the table, and Dean has to bite his tongue to keep from asking what is going on. He doesn’t want to make a scene, as he knows his dad has problems controlling his anger sometimes. 

When they finally get out of the restaurant, Dean catches the young waiter and says, “Sorry,” before he’s forced to follow his father and brother out of the restaurant. The car ride back to the motel is silent, and the three of them enter the motel with tension thick in the air. As soon as the door closes behind Dean, he gets slapped across the face. Sam yells out in surprise, backing away from the pair. Dean just looks up at his dad, confused and hurt. 

“What the hell, Dean?! What was that little chick flick moment at the diner, hmm?!” John asked, backing Dean against the wall. 

Dean gasped slightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking-”

“You do know what the hell I’m talking about, boy! Don’t pretend you don’t!” John said, face red with anger. “I didn’t raise any fags, boy!” 

Dean blinks in confusion, “Dad, I-”

“There’s no excuse, Dean! You will be normal, Dean. You _will_ ,” John growls, and punches the teen in the face. 

When the beating is over, John mutters, “I’m going to go get a drink. Sam, pack us up. When I get back, we’re hitting the road.” He walks by Dean, who is bleeding on the floor, “You better be gone when I get back. We’ll see if you can be normal again after a while on your own. You’ll learn to respect me and my rules.” 

As soon as the sound of the Impala fades into the distance, Sam falls to the floor in front of his brother. His tear-filled eyes break Dean’s heart. “Dean, are you okay? Dean?” Sam asks, hands clutching his bloodied shirt. 

“I’ll be okay, Sammy. You better do what Dad said. You don’t wanna get in trouble.”

“Let me help you. That cut on your lip looks pretty bad. It’s gonna need stitches,” Sam said, helping Dean sit up against the wall. He starts to get up to get the first aid supplies, but Dean catches his wrist. The twelve-year-old stared down at his brother, “What’s wrong, Dee?” 

Dean laughs, and winces as he does so. “Why are you doing this? Don’t I disgust you?” 

Sam frowns, kneeling back down. “Dad’s wrong, Dean. There’s nothing wrong with liking guys. It’s normal. And, besides, I don’t have a right to judge you based on who you wanna be with. Neither does Dad. He’s just a jerk.” He stands up, “I’ve never done this before though, Dean. You’ll have to tell me how to do it.” 

The two struggle through Sam’s first time stitching someone up, and then Sam packs while Dean cleans the rest of his smaller wounds up. Sam hands him his stuff when he’s done, and Dean tries not to let his emotions get the best of him as he looks at his heartbroken brother. “It’s okay, Sam. Dad won’t make me stay away forever. I’m sure we’ll see each other again before you know it.” Dean hugs his little brother, “I love you, Sammy. I’ll see you soon.” 

Dean doesn’t know that that’s the last time he’ll see Sam for almost three months. 

He’s only a block away from the motel when Cas shows up. “Where were you?” Dean asks sadly. 

“I’m sorry, Dean. They wouldn’t let me come see you. They said this was something you had to go through without me.” 

“I can’t believe he did that in front of Sam.”

“Dean-”

“It’s just that he’s so young, he doesn’t need to see-”

“Dean-”

“-any of that. He doesn’t need to know-”

“Dean-” 

“-that Dad would do tha-”

“Dean!” Cas shouts. Dean stops talking and walking and looks at Cas. “It’s okay to be upset for you, Dean. Your father hurt you. It’s okay to hurt.” Dean shakes his head. “De-”

Dean suddenly rushes forward and hugs Cas with a sob escaping his throat. “I’m scared, Cas. I’m s-scared.” 

Cas puts one hand on Dean’s back and one on the back of his head, “I know, Dean. I know.” He presses his lips to the broken teen’s head. “It’s okay to cry, Dean. I’m here.”

“Don’t ever leave me, Cas. Please don’t leave me,” Dean cries, fingers gripping onto Cas’s trench coat like it’s a lifeline. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean. I’m here as long as you need me.” 

Cas stays by his side for the three weeks Dean lives on the streets. He hold him at night, when the teen shakes with nightmares, and he walks beside him during the day, as he tries to stay alive. Cas is standing right next to Dean in that store, when he tries to steal bread and peanut butter and gets caught. He sits next to him in the back of the police car, when they take him to meet Sonny. When Sonny asked about some of the leftover bruises from the last time he saw his dad, he said they were from a werewolf and Cas frowned. 

Dean starts to set his things on his new bed, glancing at the angel standing next to it. “There’s people around here, Cas. People who are gonna notice if I keep talking to some invisible force. You can leave, just… stick close, yeah?” Cas agrees, reluctantly, because this is what Dean wants. 

Dean’s a little sad that Cas actually listens to him, but he gets over that when Robin comes around. 

Dean has no experience, and Robin has _a_ _lot_ of experience. So when she convinces him to do more than kissing, while they are supposed to be doing guitar lessons and Sonny is outside with some of the other boys, he agrees. He doesn’t know why he agrees, he just doesn’t want to sit around and pine after an angel who would never feel the same for him as he felt for him. He just wanted to forget the boy at the diner. He just wants his dad to like him again. So when he followed her up the stairs and into the bedroom he’s been living in for nearly two months, he just didn’t care. 

She guided him through it all, but he couldn’t enjoy it, not really. Sure, he knew he liked girls too. He was bisexual. He knew this. He’s known it since he was fourteen and first found a magazine that talked about sexuality and teenagers. But this? It felt wrong. Having sex with her to try to forget about what his dad had said, to forget about what he felt for Cas? He didn’t think it was right. But when she climbed on top of him and put her boobs in his face? He didn’t care if it was wrong. He wanted it. 

She ends up riding him, because he can barely think straight. He feels himself getting closer to release when he looks up and sees Cas standing in front of the bed. The angel looks angry, and Dean shouts as he comes, “Cas!” He feels Robin’s confusion and anger as she jumps off him. “Robin, wait! You don’t understand-”

“What, that you yelled someone else’s name while we were having sex? What don’t I understand, Dean?”

“I’m sorry, Robin. Cas is the name of my brother,” he tries, and she looks absolutely disgusted until he says, “No! You got it wrong, I’m sorry. I wasn’t shouting out his name because of sex, I just had a bad memory. My brother got hurt, and I was remembering that. I’m not a perve and I’m not thinking of someone else… like that. If anything, I’m guilty of letting my mind wander. Which I shouldn’t have done. But-”

“I understand, Dean. We still on for the dance tomorrow night?” she asks with a small smile as she pulls a shirt on over her head and her panties and jeans go up over her hips. 

“Of course we are, Robin,” Dean answers, frozen in place. Cas is still there, staring between the two. 

“I’ll see you then,” she says and kisses him soundly. Cas glares. 

“Yeah, see you.” Dean turns to the angel when she leaves the room and he hears her feet on the stairs. “What are you doing, Cas?” he hisses. “Get out.” Dean turns to grab some clothes, quickly dressing himself. 

“What are _you_ doing, Dean?” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Dean asks, glaring at the angel. 

“You are setting yourself on a path that-”

“Oh my God, Cas! Stop! Stop with all this fate shit!”

“But Dean-”

“Don’t “but Dean” me, Cas-”

“Let’s get some air,” Cas suggests, but it’s not much of a suggestion as he’s pulling on Dean’s arm and dragging him from the room. 

“Where are you going, Dean?” Sonny asks as Dean passes him. 

“On a walk. I’ll be back soon,” Dean promises over his shoulder. “What is your problem, Cas? Hmm?”

Cas sighs heavily. “I don’t have a problem, Dean. I just want you to be safe and happy.”

“Then why did you come and mess things up between me and Robin?”

Cas fixes him with a suspicious look. “And that was you being safe and happy?” 

Dean sighs, “Why do you gotta do that, man?”

“Do what?” Cas asks with a tilt to his head. Dean smiles fondly at the gesture.

“Know what I’m thinking about. Can you read minds or something?” Dean laughs. 

Cas frowns, “I assure you that I have not read your mind, Dean.”  

“Wait, you _can_ read minds?” 

“Yes.” 

“But not mine?”

“No. There are rules against reading the minds of the people an angel guards.” Cas looks over at Dean as they walk. “And I wouldn’t do it anyways.” He reaches out and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I disrespected your personal space. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Dean wants to stay angry, but he can’t. He sighs in defeat. “It’s okay, Cas. I know you didn’t mean to do it on purpose.” They walk in silence for a while, after that. 

“I came because your father is looking for you. Sam talked to him. He told John to “get over himself and go get you.”” Dean looks up in surprise. “Your father hurt his wrist, but he agreed once he sobered up.” 

“He was drunk?” Dean asked. “Why would Sam even talk to him when he’s drunk?” 

“Because he usually has you there to comfort him when your father is intoxicated.” 

“Damn it,” Dean cursed, kicking the grass beneath his feet. 

They walk in silence again. 

“Why doesn’t Sam’s guardian angel ever guard him?” Dean asked suddenly, and Cas looks taken aback for a moment. 

Cas finally sighs. “Dean, we’ve talked about this be-”

“No we haven’t! You told me why my mom’s couldn’t protect her, not why Sam’s is never protecting him!” 

“Because his angel is not here!” Cas yells, and Dean is shocked into silence. Cas has never yelled at him like this before. “His guardian has never been around, Dean. Ever since the day he was born, Sam has been without his guardian angel. I don’t know why and I don’t know how he’s managed to live so long without a guardian angel.”

“Why would you keep this from me, Cas? Why wouldn’t you tell me?! There’s been so many times you could have told me….”

“When was I supposed to tell you? When he was first born? When your mother died? When, Dean?” 

“Maybe when he almost got killed by a monster and I blamed myself for it.” 

Cas looks sadly at the teen. “Dean, you were a child.” 

“You still weren’t going to tell me now,” Dean grumbled, closing his eyes with a frustrated sigh.

“You still _are_ a child, Dean.”

“No I’m not!” Dean yells, tears threatening to make their way out from his closed eyes. 

“You are. You’re sixteen years old. That’s still so young, Dean.” Cas puts his hand on his arm. 

“I’m old enough to not need you by my side anymore, Cas!” Dean shouts, pushing the angel away. Cas backs up and stares at Dean, neither moving anymore. “I don’t need you! Why are you still here?!” 

“Dean. You are angry and confused. Don’t-”

“I’m not confused, Cas! For once in my life, I’m not confused!” Dean yells with a humorless laugh. “I don’t want to see you anymore, Cas.” 

Cas tries not to let the words hurt. But they feel like a slap across the face. “Dean, please don’t do this. Please don’t push me away,” Cas pleads quietly. 

“I can’t do this anymore, Castiel. I can’t talk to you and I can’t look at you. It hurts.” Dean takes a deep breath, “Please leave, Cas. Please,” he closes his eyes sadly. 

Cas closes his eyes too. “If… if that’s what you wish, Dean. I won’t appear to you again,” he said. 

And he was gone. 

John showed up just before the school dance the next evening, and Dean took one look at his baby brother and knew he had to go with them. But the boy who got into the Impala was not the boy who had been in it so many times before. 


	2. The Middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the next part, and it looks like it's the shortest part. This takes place right at the beginning of season 4. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! I love feedback of any kind!

Dean wakes up and suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. “Help,” he croaks. “Help! Help,” he coughs. His throat feels as if there’s graveling it, shifting in him so he can’t speak. He wonders when the last time he had something to drink was. But- oh yeah. He was in hell. But this? This was not hell. He tried to break what he could feel above him, and he did. Dirt fell onto him once he’d broken through the pine box he was inside of. Once he pushed through the dirt, he found himself needing to push through solid ground. he crawled his way through thick grass and panted and groaned for a minute before standing up and taking in his surroundings. He was in the middle of what once was a forest, all of the trees down were in front of him, as if something had broken the forest around him, just for him. He walked down a gravel road until he came upon a small gas station. Nobody was there, and he immediately helped himself to water. Then, he saw the newspaper. It was September. He’d been gone about four months. 

He walked up to a mirror, lifting his shirt and staring at the body he’d left behind months before. But, the last time he’d been in his actual body, he’d been torn up by hellhounds. Whatever this was, this… resurrection… it had been very thorough. Then he decides to pull up the sleeve of his shirt, and finds himself staring at a handprint. The print had raised the skin where it stood, and was red and violent looking, it was burned on his skin. He gasps then and looks at it, the only thing he remembers of whatever took him from hell was a bright flash of light. 

He grabs a shopping bag and fills it with food, water, and a copy of Busty Asian Butties. He’s just about to take some money from the cash register when the TV turns on. He clicks it off, causing the buzzing of the “snow” screen to stop. Then the radio clicks on. He goes to turn hat off too, when the TV turns back on. He grabs some salt to line the doors and windows when a high pitched buzzing starts. And then the windows are all shattering around him, and he falls to the ground. It all stops as quick as it started. 

When Bobby won’t talk to him, he decided hot wiring the car sitting next to the phone booth is his best option. He drives all the way to Bobby’s home from Illinois and has to deal with the man thinking he’s not him. They talk about how Dean got out of hell and decide it had to be Sam. Then, they set off to find Sam. Sam, who says he had nothing to do with Dean coming back. So they are back at square one on figuring out how he’s back. 

So they go see Pam. Pam, who decides they have to do a seance because nobody knows how Dean is back. When he shows off his handprint to everyone, Sam and Bobby look surprised and worried. And then they begin the seance. The TV turns on again and a high pitched buzzing like the one before comes. And then she says it, “Castiel?” And Dean thinks he’s going to be sick. “No. Sorry, Castiel, I don’t scare easy.” 

“Castiel?” Dean asks, trying to seem calm and like he’d never heard the name before.

“Its name,” Pam replies, “It’s whispering to me, warning me to turn back,” and Dean wants to say, “Uh, yeah, I know. I’ve already met him before, I just didn’t know he had the power to raise me from the dead.” 

Dean thinks about saying something, as Pam continues to press. But Sam and Bobby both are not looking at him and Dean feels like it might be too late. And then the room begins to shake and Dean _knows_ it’s too late. And her eyes burn out of her head. Dean looks up, shocked that Cas would ever do something like this. 

He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to think. So he pretends he doesn’t know who Castiel is. And when they are sitting in that diner, and the demon is talking to them and says, “Lying is a sin, you know,” Dean feels guilty again. He was the reason Pam’s eyes got burned, he was the reason the demons were talking to him. Everyone is scared. He’s scared for different reasons. Where they’re all scared of what pulled him out, he’s scared of what is going to happen when he finally comes face to face with Cas again. 

So, when he’s in the motel and wakes up to more radios, snowy TVs, and high pitched ringing, he gets angry. If Cas won’t just come to him, if he’s gonna keep playing these games with them, then he’s going to force him to come see him. They ward the barn against everything they’ve ever heard of, and have all the weapons they could think of. Dean doesn’t want to kill Cas. He _knows_ this won’t kill Cas. He doesn’t know _what_ would kill him, but he knows that these things won’t hurt him. 

When there is a bunch of rustling on the roof, Dean doesn’t really know what to think. Then the bulbs begin to break, and the doors open and in walks the man that Dean had seen since day one. Bobby is surprised when the guns don’t even slow him down, and Dean pretends. Cas looks angry when Dean pretends he doesn’t know him. But then Cas makes Bobby sleep. And Cas turns to him with sad, hurt eyes, and says, “We need to talk, Dean. Alone.” 

Dean glares at Cas as he goes to check on Bobby. “What the hell, man?” Dean asks. 

“He is fine, Dean.” And the dismissal and casual way that Castiel says this makes something snap inside Dean. 

“Yeah?” He asks, anger causing him to get up and stalk towards the angel. “Well, what about Pam, hmm?” Cas looks up at him and opens his mouth but Dean cuts in, “She’s blind now, because of you! She didn’t do anything to you. She was just trying to help me.” 

“I did not mean for her to get hurt. A human cannot look at an angel in their true form. They simply cannot handle it. I didn’t hurt her, she saw me in my true form.”

“Then what’s this?” Dean gestures to Castiel. “Why can we look at you now, why could I look at you… before?” 

“Because this is a vessel. And whatever you saw before is whatever you wanted to see.”

“I saw _this_ before,” Dean says, gesturing to Castiel again and then crossing his arms. 

Castiel squints at him, tilting his head. Dean tries to contain any reaction he has to seeing that familiar look. “ _This_ is the body you saw when you were a child?” 

“Yeah. You think I’m lying?” Dean asks. 

“No. I just am getting a feeling as if I’ve been lied to by my commanding angel.” 

“Commanding angel?”

“The angel who oversees all of the guardian angels, yes.” 

“Okay.” Dean laughs, shaking his head. “Enough of this.” Dean turns away to pack up all of their things. 

“Dean, I wish to speak to you, about what happened-”

“About why you pulled me out of hell?” 

“I was referring to what happened all those years ago,” Cas says quietly. Dean looks up at him again and sees the lost expression on the angel’s face. “However, I do suppose we should discuss that, as well.” 

“Listen, there is no reason to talk abut what happened back then. What happened happened, and all that.”

“No, Dean. We do need to talk about it. And we need to talk about Sam.” 

“What about Sam?”

Castiel sighed. “You need to know what he’s been doing, since you’ve been in hell.” 

Dean sits and listens to Cas explain about the demon blood. And the stuff he’s been doing with Ruby. And when he’s done, Dean sits there and lets it all soak in. “As for why I pulled you from hell… it’s your fate.” 

“Shit, Cas. Back with the fate crap, huh?” Dean asks, looking up at the ceiling. 

“And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break,” Cas says, and Dean knows it is not his words, but the words of another, the words of God. Cas looks at Dean. “Lilith is intending on breaking the seals, to let Lucifer, the devil himself, out of his cage in hell. You helped them break the first one, Dean. I was ordered to come and find you, before you broke under their torture. But it was too late. By the time I got there, you were broken. I’m sorry, Dean.” 

Dean is rushing out of the barn, spewing his guts out before he can clear the doorway. He feels a hand on his back, and he closes his eyes as he pukes, pretending this was something he could have. When he finally is left with nothing in his gut, dry heaving with his hands on his knees, he opens his eyes and steps away. Cas is looking at him with pity in his eyes. Dean hates it. Dean sits down with a heavy sigh, against the side of the barn. Cas sits next to him, and it’s almost like old times. They sit in silence, tears dripping down Dean’s face. “Do you remember the story I told you, after Sam was almost attacked by the Shtriga?” 

“I don’t know….”

“I told you that there was a boy in the world who would save the entire world. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when; but I did know that was special. I knew, even when he was scared that he’d screwed everything up; even when he thought he’d never be like his father. He was right, he’ll never be like his father. No, he’s so much better than his father ever was. He cares about people, and he puts every single person ahead of himself, even when they don’t deserve it. I said he was going to mean a lot to the world, though he probably wouldn’t be recognized for his work. But he didn’t just mean a lot to the world, he meant a lot to me. Still does, actually. 

“He had a big heart, and a pure soul; and he still does, even though he thinks he screwed everything up again by breaking under intense torture. He doesn’t understand that this was always going to happen. Though the demons thought it’d be his father, it was always going to be him. And he didn’t screw everything up. He just did what he had to do. For once, he put himself first. And that’s okay. Because he’s going to save the whole world, from the apocalypse itself. He’s going through a lot of hardship, and it’s not fair. He lost his mother, and his father. And then he lost his brother, and got him back, but had to follow up on his end of that deal and had to leave. And now he’s back. But I’ve been told he’ll get what he wants, get what he _needs_ , in the end. Because he’s Dean fucking Winchester, and he is the righteous man.” 

Cas’s blue eyes are shinning with so much emotion, and Dean’s emotions are all welling up in his chest. He feels like he’s a freaking teenager again, the way he’s feeling right now. So he acts like one; he closes his eyes, leans forward, and captures the angel’s lips with his own. At first, Castiel doesn’t react at all, and Dean allows himself to feel disappointed. He starts to move away, releasing the angel, when Cas bites his lip in retaliation and pulls Dean closer. Dean lets out a surprised, “Hmph,” as the angel starts to kiss with gusto. Cas pulls him even closer still and Dean parts his lips and feels Cas’s tongue enter his mouth. Dean is on Cas’s lap now, and he can feel the angel’s dick hardening underneath him as their tongues twist together. He sucks on Cas’s tongue and the angel groans and finally pulls back from the kiss.   

Their foreheads press together as they pant, and Dean finally opens his eyes to see Cas’s deep blue eyes staring back at him. “You are so perfect, Dean Winchester,” Cas says, leaning forward to gently peck his lips. 

“I love you, Cas,” Dean says, swallowing hard. “I-I loved you back then, when I was younger. That’s why I avoided you a lot, why I messed around with Robin, why I-” tears flow down his cheeks again, and Cas shushes him wipes his tears away with his thumbs. “It’s why I made you leave.” He takes a deep breath, “I never got over it, either. I pretended… I focused on hunting, and I started having sex with girls and never guys, I started drinking….”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Dean. I never left. I stayed by your side, even when you asked me to leave. They wouldn’t let me interfere anymore, they said everything that happened once I left was meant to happen. I still influenced some things. Made it easier for you to find the hunts you needed. Made it so your father would never hit you as much as he did that night…. I knew, when you were a teenager, that I wanted you, wanted this. But I didn’t understand the feelings I had. And I knew I didn’t deserve you, Dean.”

“Don’t deserve me?” Dean laughs, “It’s me who doesn’t deserve you, Cas. Besides, you’re all I want. I’ve never wanted anyone else, any _thing_ else, as much as I’ve wanted you.”  

They both sit quietly, Dean still on top of Cas, though both have calmed down. “We’ve wasted many years, haven’t we?” Cas asked quietly. Dean nods. “Let’s not waste any more.”  

They kiss softly for a few minutes, both getting lost in the emotions and neither willing to move too quickly with this. It’s not until they hear a gruff grunt from a few feet away that they actually remember what they were doing here. Both of their heads turn towards Bobby, who is looking at the two and holding his gun like he’s disappointed about something. Dean feels a flicker of fear as he dreads what Bobby will say. “So… I won’t be needing this, then?” Bobby asks, and Dean blinks in confusion. Then Bobby smiles and says, “Your friend, Cas, right?” And Dean throws his head back and laughs, and Bobby joins in. Soon, all three of them are laughing. Dean stands up and offers Cas a hand and a loving smile. “You know, you boys are going to have to catch me up on all of this.” 

“Don’t worry, old man. We’ve got lots of time.” Dean smiles, wrapping an arm around his angel and around the man who has become a father to him. “Lots of time.” 

Sam isn’t thrilled when the three of them break up his and Ruby’s little demon killing spree. And he isn’t happy to see Castiel standing beside Dean. But when they all go back to the motel and Dean starts to tell them about guardian angels, and the select few who can see them without a vessel, Sam starts to lighten up. Sam is full of curiosity then, asking Cas questions at rapid fire. Cas answers them all to the best of his ability. And then Sam asks, “Who’s my guardian angel?” Dean and Cas grow silent, exchanging a look. “What?” Sam asks with a frown.

“You don’t have a guardian angel, Sam,” Cas answers, and Sam looks confused. 

“What do you mean? You said everyone is assigned a guardian angel at birth?” 

“Right. The angel who was assigned to you… never showed up,” Cas said, at a loss for words. 

“How… how does that happen?” 

Cas sighs, “He hasn’t had a charge since he rebelled. That was a very long time ago. He’s supposedly still living here, among humanity. Many had thought he was dead until you came along, and he was assigned to you. For an angel, even an archangel like him, to be assigned as guardian to someone, when the angel is not in heaven, has never happened. An angel gets contacted through heaven when they are given a charge. We can only assume that Gabriel never responded because he wasn’t connected to heaven.”

“Gabriel?” Sam asked. “As in, Archangel Gabriel? As in, the angel who told Mary she was going to be the mother of God? That Gabriel?” 

Castiel frowns and his eyebrows furrow. “Yes, of course. Who else would it be?” 

Sam and Dean exchange a look and Sam laughs. “No one, I guess.” 

“I will help you find him, Sam. Now that I have a vessel, I can do things here on earth. I will help you find Gabriel.”

They do find Gabriel, though not because Castiel found him, because he found them. But they don’t know it is him, as they think he is the trickster. When Cas shows up, Gabriel immediately makes it so he can’t talk. When he finally has time to tell them, Sam is shocked. His “guardian angel” is a jerk. And he’d been around Sam before and didn’t think to say, didn’t _care_ to say, “Hey, I’m supposed to be your guardian angel. I skipped out because I’m selfish and lazy.”

When they finally escape the TV world and end up in the warehouse, Sam is too upset to talk to Gabriel. Cas does it instead. “Gabriel, you had a duty to heaven. Why have you been ignoring it?” 

Gabriel scoffs, “What duty, Castiel? I haven’t been in heaven for so long, what duty am I to fulfill?”

“You don’t know?” Dean asks, turning to Cas, “How does he not know?” 

Cas frowns and his eyebrows furrow, “I’m not sure….”

Gabriel, for the record, looks very confused, “What am I missing here?”

“You’re supposed to be my guardian angel,” Sam says, and Gabriel turns to look at him.

Surprise colors Gabriel’s features. “What?” he breathes. 

“I’m new to all of this guardian angel stuff, but I know that you aren’t supposed to be able to live without one. Which explains all of the stuff that’s happened in my life.”

“Guys, I didn’t know, I swear. I’ve been cut off from heaven for so long, how was I supposed to know?” Gabriel asked, looking at Sam with an open expression. Sam is sort of surprised at how honest he looks. “Why would Dad not force contact upon me?”

“Well, Sam is obviously stronger than most. He’s survived thus far without a guardian angel. Maybe this is how it was always supposed to be.”

Dean laughs, “Yeah, maybe you’ll actually have a good life now.” 

Gabriel looks at Sam, who looks back at Gabriel, “Maybe he will,” Gabriel agrees.

The fight between Michael and Lucifer still goes down. Gabriel still dies before it. Dean saves the world, by stopping the apocalypse, the way God always knew he would. Sam still dies. But, when Sam comes back, it’s because Gabriel has been resurrected and he goes down just like Castiel went down for Dean. Dean and Cas were barely moved on to the next hunt when the boys showed up. Gabriel refused to leave Sam’s side, which meant that Sam and Dean were teaching two angels how to be hunters now. But it was a good life. A hard life, yes. But it was finally looking up for the boys.


	3. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short epilogue after this!

A lot of things happened, of course. Things that made life hard. Things that made their relationships hard. Sam got his soul back, having not had it when Gabriel got him back. Then Gabriel and Sam got together. They got through Castiel betraying them with Crowley. Dean had to get over loosing Castiel and they had to deal with the Leviathans. And then Bobby died and the boys were back to having no parents. Sam started to loose his mind, due to his soul’s damage from Lucifer. Cas came back and Dean had to deal with everything that entailed. Then they  defeated Dick Roman and Cas and Dean ended up in Purgatory. When Dean got out and Cas stayed behind, Dean tried to repress the sad memories of his angel wanting to stay behind. Then Cas just showed up seemingly out of nowhere, and the angel quickly reconciled with Dean. But Cas was secretly working with Naomi and Dean and Sam meet and loose their grandfather. Then they deal with the trials, while Cas works with Naomi on his own trials. 

And then the angels fell. And Sam almost died, just short of completing the trials. So Dean made a deal with Gadreel, who he thought was Ezekiel. Gadreel tells Dean to kick Cas out, and Dean knows that Cas doesn’t understand, but they break up as a result. Then Kevin dies and everything comes out about Gadreel. Dean and Cas make up, and Dean goes off, looking for the first blade. He gets the Mark of Cain and Dean dies. Dean even became a demon for a short time. Then he becomes human again and he lets the Darkness out in an attempt to get rid of the Mark. Then, Castiel lets Lucifer take his body. But then they met God, or Chuck, or… whichever. Lucifer left Castiel. And God’s sister told Dean that they’d get something they needed most. And Mary came back. 

Dean has left her alone while they were in the bunker, trying to go and find his brother. When he comes back, she's pointing a gun at his boyfriend. “Woah, woah, woah, woah. It’s okay. He’s a friend, alright?” Dean says, gently lowering his mother’s arm. Then he turns to Cas, whose eyes were wide in surprise. “Hey, Cas,” he begins to say. 

Cas has him in a hug before the words can fully leave his mouth, “Dean!” he breathes in relief as he hugs him close. 

They hug and Cas takes in a shaky breath as Dean rolls his eyes and says, “Okay, okay. Alright.”

“Dean, you’re alive?” he asks, and he seems choked up as Dean confirms that he is. “What about the bomb and the Darkness, what happened?” he asks, and Dean swears he can see a tear in his eye. 

“I’ll tell you everything. Where is Sam? And Gabe, for that matter?” 

“They’re not here?” Cas asks, and Dean narrows his eyes in confusion.

“Are you a hunter?” Mary asks suddenly, and the two back away from each other slightly, as if just remembering there was another person in the room.

“No, I’m an angel,” Cas says as Dean says, “He’s an angel.” 

“Come again?”

“An angel. Uh, capital A. Wings, harp.” 

“No, I don’t have a harp.”

“This is Castiel,” Dean says with a small smile. He turns back to Cas, “Cas, this is Mary. Winchester.” 

Cas looks at him in surprise and confusion. “Your mother,” he says. 

“Cas?” Mary asks, like she’s trying to remember something. 

“Yeah. So where are our brothers? Sam’s not answering his phone, there’s blood on the floor-”

“I don’t know. We came back here, there was a woman waiting for us. She blasted me and Gabriel out of the room. I don’t know who she was, I don’t know what happened to Sam.”

“I don’t understand, what happened?” Mary asked.

“The bunker is empty, so they’ve obviously left here. You said woman. Not an angel, not a demon, a human?” 

“She was human.” 

“When did this go down?”

“2:12 AM.” 

“Is that a computer?” 

“Yes, I don’t trust them,” Cas says, and Mary is looking at him now. Mary frowns as she obviously ponders something. 

Then, they are looking for Sam. Gabriel finds him first, and the two get in an argument about Gabriel, “being a lousy guardian angel, once again,” and Sam “being at fault for most of what happens in his life.” The two decide to take a break from each other, and Gabriel decides to check up on the British Men of Letters. 

It isn’t until the boys have both been taken that Mary finally actually sits down and talks to Castiel. Castiel, who is busy trying to track down the boys, day and night. “You care a lot about Dean, don’t you?” 

Cas, without looking up from the laptop, says, “I have been his guardian angel since the day he was born. Of course I care for him.” 

Mary frowns and shakes her head slightly, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to assume anything but… isn’t there a little more to your relationship than just being someone who watched over him from afar.” Cas glances at her out of the corner of his eye. “Wait… didn’t Dean have an imaginary friend when he was little?”

“I’m sure he did, most children have one at some point.” 

“His first word. It was Cas. That was the name of his imaginary friend,” Mary said, suddenly remembering. Her eyes narrow at Cas. “ _You_ ,” she says slowly. 

Then a phone rings.

When they get back to the bunker that night, Dean is pissed. Dean is storming off towards his bedroom and Castiel throws an apologetic look over his shoulder at Sam and Mary as he follows the hunter. Mary is just about to ask Sam something when he says, “Hey, Mom. I’ve gotta go make a call and then head to bed. Have a good night.” 

Mary sighs, “I’m going to head out, back on the road. I found a case not far from here.”

Sam turns around and looks at her, “Okay. Well, be safe. Keep in touch.” 

“Of course,” Mary says, turning towards the door. 

As Sam walks by his brother’s bedroom, he can hear the fighting. “Cosmic consequences, Cas! That shit is not to be taken lightly!” 

“I know, Dean. I’m sorry. I just can’t loose you, any of you. The world needs you, I need you.”

Dean sighs, looking at his boyfriend. He sits down on the end of the bed, next to Cas. He puts his hand on his leg, “I know, Cas. I need you too. And, as thankful as I am that you saved us, I’m just worried. I don’t want anything to happen to you. I don’t think I can stand loosing you again, Cas.” 

Cas puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder, “Then you know how I feel about you.” Dean looks at him and gives a small, sad smile. “We should get some sleep. I’m sure we’ll be busy soon enough.” 

When Gabe shows up at the breakfast table the next morning, neither Dean or Cas question it. 

Then Cas goes and almost dies. 

When Dean enters the barn and sees the angel and immediately joins his side. “Cas,” he says. When he gets to his side, he says, “Hey. Wow. You look like hammered crap.”

“Yeah,” Cas grunts in pain, “That sounds about right.” 

“Let’s see,” Dean says, lifting up the edge of his shirt. His heart drops to his stomach when he sees the black lines all over his skin. He glances up to see if Cas saw and said, “Okay. Hey, you know what? I’ve had worse,” Dean lies. 

“Oh yeah? When?” Dean can’t help his reaction anymore, no longer hiding it on his face. “Dean. Something’s wrong. I can’t heal myself. I think… I think the demons spear was poisoned. I-I think I’m dying.” 

“No,” Dean says with a shake of his head. “You just need some time, okay? You’ll heal up the old fashioned way.” He tries to keep himself in check, for Cas. “Sam? Sammy!” Dean calls, standing up to talk to Sam and Mary. “Listen, man, you gotta call Gabe.”

Sam pulls out his phone, but looks doubtful. “Alright. But, Dean, if Cas can’t heal himself, I doubt Gabe can heal him.” 

Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “Please, just call him.”

“Okay, man.”

Gabe appears a minute later, and kneels next to Castiel, “Oh, Cassie, what did you do?” Cas just makes another pained noise as Gabriel begins to look over the injury. 

Mary turns and looks at him, surprised. “Who is this?” 

“This is Gabriel,” Sam says.

“Like-”

“Yes, that Gabriel,” Dean answers angrily. 

Crowley shows up in front of them. Then both Gabriel and Crowley argue with Dean about the outcome. Crowley leaves and Gabriel stands up and paces the room. Mary, who has taken Gabriel’s spot next to Cas, tries to help Cas look at the wound when Dean asks how bad it is. “Crowley and Gabriel are right. You should go.” 

“Cas, come on-” 

“No, you listen to me. Thank you, thank you. Knowing you- it’s been the best part of my life. And the things- the things we’ve shared together, they’ve changed me,” he lets out a loud noise in his pain. Dean looks down to try to hide the tears in his eyes. “You’re my family. I love you,” he says, looking at Dean. Then he looks at Sam, Mary, and Gabe, “I love all of you.” He looks down sadly, and Gabriel and Sam are both looking at Dean, willing him to say something. “Just please, please don’t make me spend my last moments watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.” 

“Cas, no,” Dean says.

“Yes. You need to keep fighting.”

“We are fighting,” Sam says. “We’re fighting for you, Cas.”

“And like you said, you’re family. We don’t leave family behind,” Dean says. 

Mary looks up at Dean and Sam looks down at Cas, who has begun to cry. “Mom,” Sam says with a nod of his head towards the other room. He grabs Gabriel’s arm and pulls him with. 

Dean goes to Cas, and sits down next to him. He puts his arms around his angel and buries his face in Cas’s hair. “I’ve got you. It’s okay now, Cas. It’s going to be okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Cas clutches onto his arm as he cries. “I love you too, Cas. I love you too. You have been the best thing in my whole life. You’ve been by my side since before I can even remember. And I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to you.” 

When the fight is over and Crowley saves Cas’s life, Dean is filled with relief. Without thinking, he surges forward and kisses his angel, in front of everyone. Including Mary, he remembers once he’s pulled back. Castiel smiles at him and Gabriel is behind them hooting and hollering while Crowley is making gaging noises and Sam is laughing. When Dean turns around to look at Mary, she’s smiling. “I’ve been trying to ask you about that. I’m glad I never had to find the right way to ask.” 

Dean looks back at Cas, who has a huge smile on his face. The angel begins to laugh, and Dean smiles and shakes his head as he joins in. Soon, Sam and Gabriel are laughing too, and Mary. Then Mary turns to Gabriel and says, “How do you know the boys?” And they all laugh louder, except Mary. “What?” she asks. 

“Well, he’s _my_ boyfriend, so….” Sam says with a smile. And then Mary laughs. 

And they are a family.

When they finally get back to the bunker, Dean and Cas go to bed right away. Dean just lays there in Cas’s arms, trying and failing to sleep. Finally he sighs and sits up. “Dean?” Cas asks, watching the hunter slip from the bed. 

“Gonna get something,” Dean replies, digging through his dresser drawers. When he turns back around, he sees Castiel smile fondly. Dean settles back in Cas’s arms and smiles when the angel grabs the book and begins to read. 

There is sunlight peeking through the window when Castiel finishes reading. “For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” 

Dean falls more in love than ever before.

When the Brits tell them that they have a plan to wipe out all monsters, Dean agrees to help them. “Why do you want to do this, Dean?” Castiel asks. 

“I want to get this all over with, Cas. I want to have a life with you. A real, happy, complete life. I want everything with you, Cas. This is a way that we can live a life without constant hunting and moving around. I want everything you want. I want everything I used to want. I want everything that we can have together.” Dean presses their foreheads together and Castiel closes his eyes and sighs happily. “Everything.”


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end of the story! I hope you all liked it!

For as long as Dean Winchester can remember, Castiel had been there. 

For as long as Dean Winchester had been alive, Castiel had been happy. 

There is a house with a white picket fence. It is dark blue, with a red door that welcomes all who come to stand before it. There is a tall tree that stands in front of the house, with wooden swing hanging from its branches. 

There is a house across town which is a light green or light blue color. It has white trim and white shutters and a white door. There is an old tree out front, which seems like it should be removed by now, but still it stands. 

There is an apartment a few short miles outside of the town. The building is red brick, with small landings belonging to each of the residents. There is a set of stairs leading up to the call box, where you will find a new name plate made out, white to the others’ tan. 

A man parks his car outside the blue house and walks up to the red door. Before he can put his hand on the handle, the door is pulled open from the inside. “Daddy!” a voice squeals excitedly. The man catches the sandy-haired girl and lifts her up onto his hip. 

“Hey, Jemima, how’s my beautiful girl?” Dean asks, kissing the cheek of the four-year-old girl. 

She giggles in response. “Good! Mimi is here!” 

“Oh, is she now?” Dean raised his eyebrow in question.

“Yeah, she gots pie.” 

“Yummy!”

“Unca Gabe and Unca Sam comin’ soon too.” 

“Is that so?” Dean asks as he enters the kitchen. Another little body barrels into his legs and he bends down to lift his two-year-old daughter into his free arm. “Hey, Chloe girl.” 

Mary and Castiel turn and smile at Dean. “Hey, husband of mine,” Dean greets with a grin, bending down to kiss his lips. 

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel murmurs. The girls squeal and Dean sets them down. They both rush out of the room, off to go play. 

“My brother is coming?” 

“Yes.”

“ _Your_ brother is coming?” 

“ _Dean,_ ” Cas scolds. 

Dean holds his hands up, “What? Can’t blame a guy for asking.” Castiel rolls his eyes but smiles fondly. 

“Jody and the girls are coming up too, yeah?” Mary asked. 

“Yep,” Dean says, walking to the fridge. “Is Amy sleeping upstairs?” 

“No, I’m right here,” a voice said from behind him. Dean turns around and looks at the woman. Her brown hair and blue eyes look extra bright today.

“You ready to meet Jody and the girls? I swear, they’re nice. They don’t bite. Much,” Dean joked and Amy laughed, blue eyes twinkling with happiness. 

Amy was their surrogate. They had met her on a hunt. Her father was a hunter as well, and so they had all really hit it off. Amy asked why Cas and Dean had no kids, and they said they’d been looking into surrogacy but so far hadn’t found any good fits. Amy had volunteered right then and there. When they asked her why she’d even consider doing that for them, she shrugged and said, “I’ve never really been interested in kids of my own and I want to do a good thing. I think helping a loving couple like yourselves bring a baby into the world is a great thing.” 

Six months later, they had her prepped for insemination. The pregnancy took, on the first try, and nine months later, she delivered a healthy baby girl. She helped them narrow their name list down to the boy and girl names. Jemima Mary Winchester was born on August 5th, 2023, with sandy blonde hair like her daddy and blue eyes like her surrogate. When Castiel and Dean asked Amy to carry their second child not even two years later, she agreed. There were some complications during the labor, and Chloe Jody Winchester was born via C-section on April 7th, 2025. Chloe was born with brown hair and green eyes, healthy and happy. Therefore, when Amy carried their third (and final) baby, she had a scheduled C-section for the next day, to insure the best was done for both Amy and the baby. They decided that, for the last couple of weeks before the birth, Amy would live with Dean and Castiel and the girls. 

“Haha, I know that they are sweet girls. Besides, they aren’t really even _girls_ anymore, Dean. They are women.” 

Dean nods, “Well, I remember when they were girls, so they are still girls to me.” 

Mary and Cas roll their eyes and exchange a look behind his back. “How are you feeling, Amy?” 

“Oh, I’m good. We’re good,” Amy said with a soft smile and a rub to her belly. 

“Hello?! Anybody home?!” Gabriel calls. “Oh good, looks like we can steal all of their goodies, Sammy!” 

Sam walks in a minute later, rolling his eyes at his husband’s antics. “Hey, Mom,” Sam greets Mary with a kiss on the cheek. “Hey Cas, Amy. Excited to bring a new life into the world?” 

“Hey,” Dean protests. “I have a part in that too.” 

“Yes, but I like them more,” Sam jokes. 

“Hey Mama W,” Gabe says as he strolls into the room. “Cassie, Amy, Dean-o.” 

Now Dean is rolling his eyes. “What’s the big deal, huh? Why are you two so chipper?” 

Sam and Gabe exchange a glance and a smile and Sam shakes his head. “Wanna wait till Jody and Alex and Claire get here.” 

Dean shrugs, “You sure you’re cool with taking Alex to bunk over at your apartment?” 

“We wouldn’t have said it was okay if it wasn’t.”

“And, Mom, you’re okay taking Claire?” 

“Sure, we’ll stay up braiding each other’s hair,” Mary jokes. 

“Maybe we should take Claire, so you can practice your braiding,” Cas suggests to Dean.

“Hey! I can braid just fine, thanks,” Dean says defensively. 

Mary rolls her eyes with a snorted laugh, “Oh yeah, then why is Jemima always coming up to me and having me re-do her braids?” Sam and Gabriel and Amy are all laughing now, and Dean just frowns and crosses his arms. 

Just then, the doorbell rings and then the door opens. “Claire! We shouldn’t just walk into their house!” Jody scolds. 

“It’s okay, Jody! We’re all in the kitchen!” Dean calls. He then hears his daughters running into the room as Jody rounds the corner 

“Grandma!” They cheer and run towards Jody, who smiles and lifts both girls into a hug. 

“Oh, look at the two of you. You are getting so big,” she says as she sets them back on the ground. 

“Auntie Al, Auntie Claire!” Jemima greets with a hug to each of them. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Claire said. 

“Grandma, we get a new baby tomorrow,” Jemima tells her seriously. 

“I know, are you excited?” Jemima nods and Chloe pouts. “Put that lip away, little lady. No need for that. You’re going to be a big sister, Chloe.”

“Toys,” Chloe says, tugging on Jody’s jeans. 

“What toys?” Jody asks with a grin. “Wait, do you mean these toys?” she asks, pulling a bag out in front of her. “Well, I think we should wait until tomorrow, honestly. But, if we want, I’ve got a little something for you two to share, which I think is fine to get today.” 

She pulls a matching game out of her bag, and shows it to the girls, whose faces light up with excitement. “Can we play?” 

“How about after dinner, Jem?” Alex asked. 

“Okay, Auntie Al,” she says with a sweet smile. 

“Hey, booger butts, you never said hi to me and Uncle Sammy!” Gabe said, faking offended. “I hurt, I really do.” 

Chloe rushes over to Gabe, hugging his legs. “Sowy.” 

“Yeah, sorry,” Jemima says, hugging Sam and then him. 

“I guess I’ll have to forgive you,” Gabriel jokes, leaning down and tickling both of them until they shout out with joy and laughter. 

“All right, who is ready for lasagna?” Castiel asked. 

“Me!” The girls and Gabe all yelled excitedly. Sam laughs and pats Gabe on the shoulder. “What? I can be excited for Cassie’s cooking, even if it all tastes the same to me.”

“Whatever you say, man,” Dean says, helping Chloe into her chair in the dining room. Castiel helps Amy into her chair, smiling gently at the young woman. “Alright. Who wants to thank Chuck?” 

“I will,” Jemima volunteered. Castiel smiles at his oldest daughter and takes his seat next to Dean. She folds her hands and closes her eyes. “Dear Chuck, who is wherever, thank you for this food. Thank you for our family. Thank you for Amy, and the new baby. Thank you for pie and thank you for ice cream,” Gabe lets out a small laugh, and Sam reaches out to pinch his arm. “We hope to see you again someday. Amen.” She opens her eyes and smiles at all of the adults looking at her. “Dig in.” 

“You sure you’re four, Jemima?” Sam asked. “You sound pretty grown up to me.” 

“I’ll be five soon,” She states proudly, and all of the adults laugh. 

“Yeah, baby, that’s right,” Dean says, swiping a tear from his eye, laughing still. 

“Hey, guys, Gabriel and I have some news,” Sam says. He smiles at the archangel, who smiles brightly right back, “We are in the process of adopting.” Everybody is suddenly smiling and offering surprised and happy congratulations to the pair. 

“Boy or girl?” Dean asked. 

“Twin boys.” 

“Twins?!” Amy squeals with excitement. “That’s so sweet!” 

“Yeah, identical twin boys. They are just under a year old. We should be able to bring them home sometime next week.” 

“Wow, Sammy, identical twins. That’s going to be a fun one,” Dean says, reaching out to clap a hand down over his brother’s shoulder. 

If you’d asked Mary what her sons would be doing when they were full grown, she never would have told you this. She hadn’t gotten to know them much, when they were little, but she never imagined their lives would be like this. She’d never wanted them to be hunters, like she was when she was growing up, but she understood why John did it. Sam had told her, not long after they all reconciled about Mary joining the Brits and ended their plan to kill all supernatural beings, what John had done to Dean. That killed her to hear; but she had looked over at Dean and Castiel and she knew that he’d always had someone protecting him, and loving him unconditionally. 

If you’d told Jody that she’d be sitting around this table with all of the people here, she’d have laughed in your face. No friend of Bobby Singer’s would ever be good news, right? And she certainly never saw herself feeling a love for them like a mother felt for her children. And then they’d given her the girls, and she found herself with a big ready-made family, and she loved every minute of it. Seeing Dean and Castiel with their daughters made her know that this was always meant to be, all of it. 

If you’d asked Sam what he and his brother would go through together, he wouldn’t have come close to guessing. He’d known from an early age that Dean talked to an invisible man. He’d known that Dean cared more deeply for this man than anyone before. He’d known the second they’d entered that motel what seemed like lifetimes ago that Dean was never going to be the same again. When he’d met Castiel the first time, he knew they were never going to be able to live apart again. He remembers the day Dean told him that they were going to get married. He remembered the day Amy agreed to be their surrogate. He remembered holding each of his nieces for the first time. He knew that their family was deeper than ever before, and had been forever changed because of one angel. 

If you’d told Castiel he would fall for his charge, he would have never changed a thing. He would not have believed you, so he would have done everything the same. He remembers the first time he’d laid eyes on Dean, in the hospital when he was born. He remembered the first time Dean actually saw him. He remembered singing lullabies to him so he wouldn’t cry in the middle of the night and wake his exhausted parents. He remembers the first time Dean said his name, and the first time he walked to him. He remembers the absolute bliss he felt each time Dean chose him, each time he smiled at him or laughed at him. He remembers the first time Dean spoke to him after Mary’s death. He remembers all of the sleepless nights where Dean woke from nightmares and Castiel held him close and ran his fingers through his hair.

He remembers the day he knew what his feelings for Dean were becoming. He remembers watching Dean read Romeo and Juliet, and he remembers when Dean away in response. He’d known, then, that he had changed things in this boy’s life, and his own. He had been jealous, when he saw Dean with Robin. He’d wanted the girl out of there, away from Dean. And he’d known that he had to let Dean go, when he asked. He remembered the pain of watching from afar. He remembered the fear of loosing him to hell, and the joy of Dean kissing him for the first time. He remembers the day Dean asked him to marry him, and the day they decided to ask Amy to be their surrogate for their children. He remembers standing in the hospital room and holding his and Dean’s daughters for the first time. He remembers kissing their heads, kissing Dean, and saying, “You’re both perfect.” 

If Dean would ever have told you what he expected his life to be, he would have told you that he’d never live to see thirty. He would never have mentioned kids. He would have never mentioned a home. He may have mentioned Castiel. He would have told you that his brother would live a long and happy life, free from harm once Dean had gone. 

He had grown up, never needing to learn what love was. He’d known from the beginning, how it felt to love someone with all of your heart. By the time he knew this, he’d been too scared, and too scarred by his father’s stories of love lost. It had hurt more than anything to make Castiel leave. And it hurt so much to not make him come back. He’d been chosen for this. As much as he bemoaned the idea of fate, he knew this was his fate. 

He’d gone through so much. He’d lost so much. But Cas had been there to pick him up when he fell. The happiest day of his life was the day he married his angel, right after they’d taken care of all of the monsters of the world. The next was the day his daughter was born. She felt like a miracle in his arms. And, when her sister had joined the picture, he knew that this is always where he was meant to be. And he knew that this was going to complete the picture, this new baby joining his beautiful family. As he at his angel, he knew this was his perfect life. Their lips met, and Dean felt complete. 

Noah Robert Winchester was born the next morning, June 6th 2027. He had the tiniest amount of blonde hair on his tiny round head, and had green eyes right from birth. Everybody celebrated the birth of the beautiful baby boy with his family. As Dean handed him to Jemima, he remembered when he first held Sam. He tried not to cry, and Castiel held him close and whispered, “I know. I remember too.” 

Sam and Gabriel brought their sons home the next week, and Dean watched all of his family as they celebrated the two newest members of the family. He held Noah in his arms and softly spoke to the newborn. “I promise this will be a good life, buddy. You have so many people who love you. We will always be with you, Noah. Always.” When Dean looked down, Noah was staring intently at nothing. His tiny arms and legs flailed as he moved his focus to his own belly, and then looked back at the same spot. And Dean sucked in a breath and looked where his son was looking. “Yeah, Noah, your angel will be here too,” he said, kissing the top of his son’s head and turning to look at his own angel. “Forever.” 

The End.


End file.
